A Little Understanding

Judge not what you have no desire to understand

FAQ

The DD/lg Relationship

  1. Is DD/lg still part of D/s?

    Yes it is. A Master and slave will act differently to a Daddy Dom and a babygirl, but there is still a clear control by the Dom.

    A Master will have strict rules for his slave to enforce dominance and control over his sub. A Daddy Dom will enforce rules that help keep his little girl safe and help her achieve what needs to be achieved.

    A Master will punish his slave to show her the correct way to act, and depending on the Master, may enjoy it. A Daddy Dom will punish his little girl if she's not doing what she was told, but most likely won't enjoy it but it's for her own good.

    A Master will more likely sit his slave at his feet, whereas a Daddy Dom may give his little more freedom to play, but the Daddy is always watching, always controlling how she plays, making sure she is behaving.

    A Master cares for his slave and may use aftercare after a session, depending on the Master. A Daddy Dom will always have aftercare, will always assure themselves of their little one's wellbeing.

    A Daddy Dom is gentle, but he can be very firm and controlling when needed. A Daddy Dom is still always in charge



  2. How does the sexual side of the relationship work?

    This is a complex question that I get asked ALL the time. I firstly want to make it clear that not all littles participate sexual activity. Many littles in fact choose not to be sexual. The sexual side of the relationship is not the point of being a little. Littles are littles to express their childlike selves in a safe, protected environment.

    I also want to make it clear once again that littles are concenting adults, NOT children.

    That said... Some littles are sexual at times. Some littles are comfortable with being sexual in their little mode, others prefer to only be intimate when they are feeling more like their "adult self".

    Every little is different and it is vital that you know what a little is prepared to do before entering a relationship. This is very important as littles in their little mode may become too scared or nervous to ask you to stop.

    Clear communication in a DD/lg relationship is absolutely vital.



  3. Surely if there's no sexual part, the "Daddy" isn't a "Dom"?

    Actually, quite the contrary. A Daddy Dom's main job is not a sexual one. A Daddy Dom cares for and nurtures his submissive. A Dom who's main intention for his submissive is a sexual one isn't by my definition a Daddy Dom at all.

    A Daddy Dom "Dominates" his little in many many non-sexual ways. He provides rules for her to help her develop her life skills and helps her manage herself by providing firm instruction and punishing if they are not followed.

    Punishment again isn't neccessarily sexual either, in fact it's more effective if it's not. Simple things such as timeout where Daddy ignores his little for a period of time is an extremely effective punishment for a little, and a very hard one for a little to bear.



  4. How is this different to incest?

    This is a question Daddy and I get all the time. We hate having to answer it because we find it so insulting. That said, it's a valid question, with a very simple answer.

    Daddy does not mean father. Daddy (as stated elswehere in this website) is a term of affection and does not mean someone's father.

    This is a relationship between two concenting ADULTS, not of the same gene pool. the Key word here is ADULT. 

    Incest is illegal, immorall and absolutely NOT condoned by myself or the administraters of this website. 



  5. Is it normal for a Daddy have more than one little?

    Daddies and littles both have to decide within themselves whether they are interested in a polyamorous (more than one partner) or monogamous (one partner) type relationship. Many Daddy Doms that I've come across online do like to have more than one little, but having more than two or three can potentially be detrimental to the littles if they feel like they require a lot of help and attention from their Daddy. Most littles are rather needy and to have more than one or two littles seems to me like a challenge. I'd be very wary of a Daddy who appears to "collect" littles.

     There ARE absolutely monogamous Daddies out there.

     If as a little you feel you are the jealous or clingy type (don't worry, I consider myself very much the jealous AND clingy type, it's a flaw that I am very aware of in myself) then it means you are likely not suited to a poly Daddy.

    There's nothing wrong with poly relationships, just like there's nothing wrong with a monogamous relationship... But it is my personal opinion that people who feel they are poly should stick to poly relationships as they will likely not be fulfilled in a monogamous relationship and feel the urge to cheat. Likewise a monogamous person, a mono person in a poly relationship will likely feel as though they aren't enough for their partner and I doubt they'd be happy.

    If you're comfortable in either type of relationship, then that's great. Just be sure to communicate and lay down the rules with your partner. If there are secrets, then the relationship won't be a healthy one.



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Littles and Babygirls

  1. Am I too old to be a little?

    The simple answer is: No. You're never too old to be a little.

    Being a little is nothing to do with your chronological age. If you have childlike tendancies, if you feel like you have a child inside you waiting to burst out, that's all you need!

    It's not about dressing little, or looking young, it's about expressing what you feel inside.



  2. Do I have to know how old my little is?

    Again, the answer is no. You don't need to know how old your little is. Age is not as important as people seem to think when it comes to littles

    You don't need a specific age to be little... there are a few littles who have worked out that they feel they are at certain age, but most just are little... Without any specific age or age group.

    It's the main thing that separates a little from an ageplayer. Ageplayers generally require an age, whereas for a little, you don't need one. Just be you

    Some people will ask you how "old" your little is, I can guarantee it. Please don't let yourself be pressured to give an answer. There aren't many littles out there who can give an exact age. You will likely be asked your age by someone who sees littles and ageplayers the same thing, this is very common.



  3. Why shouldn't I call my little my daughter?

    We work hard to change people's perceptions of DD/lg relationships. We don't want to be offiliated with incestual relationships. In this relationship, "Daddy" Has a very different meaning to "Dad" or "Father".

    "Dad" and "Father" are words that identify a biological father. We use Daddy as a term of affection, rather than to indicate a "father".

    Similarly, the word "daughter" indicates a biological daughter, and if used would likely cause people to think incest. Better terms are little, babygirl, baby, lil one, or any other pet names you can come up with! 



  4. Why do people become littles?

    This is not a question I can comfortably answer as I am not a trained psychiatrist, nor do I claim to have any expertise in the field. 

    I will however state a few things I have noticed that may help you understand some littles. 

    Over the time I have Identified as a little, I have met many many other littles. A great deal of which have had some sort of trauma occur to them at some point in their childhood or youth. I will not speak about this in any great detail as again I have nothing but my own guesses to go on but I thought it was worth noting. 

    It is also possibly worth noting because it may help you to understand why some littles are as fragile as they are.

    However. I have also met a large number of littles who had happy healthy childhoods. I would think that these littles are littles simply because it's in their personality to be so. 



  5. What is a little like when in their "little mode"?

    This is a difficult question to answer as every little acts very different to the next. Some littles act bratty and play up for attention. Other littles are silly and full of energy. Some littles are quiet and timid.

    Littles can behave at a variety of different levels, some littles are "littler" than others. Some littles seem more like children, others like teens.

    But there are a few things that most littles have in common:  they are almost always fearful of strangers, nervous and clingy. They need encouragement and attention like you would give a child.

    Things that are important to a little should be treated as important to a Daddy. For example, if a little finds a rock with pretty colours in it, a little would likely get very upset very quickly if it seems as though their Daddy doesn't consider it important.



  6. Do littles wear diapers?

    This is an answer I get asked a fair amount, or rather people assume that because I'm a little that i like diapers.

    Littles don't generally like or wear diapers. The littles that do wear diapers have an ageplay element in their behaviour. Wearing a diaper is a roleplay element. 

    Many littles do ageplay, and that's where the confusion comes from. There is nothing wrong at all with being both an ageplayer and a little.



  7. My little doesn't seem as "young" as other people's littles... it that ok?

    Sure it is!

    There's no defined age range that a little should be like. Some littles behave like very very young children, some littles act like pre-teens, or even older. It's all completely fine. You just be you.

    Some people term the littles that behave a little older as "middles"



  8. How is a babygirl different to a little?

    The term "babygirl" Is one which I see used in many different ways. This is only my take on the term and may not reflect similarly on other people's definitions.

    A babygirl (or boy) is a submissive who requires more of the nurturing and protective care of a Daddy Dom rather than the often more harsh treatment from a BDSM Master. A babygirl does not necessarily have a childlike side.

    I consider a little to be a type of babygirl. The babygirls who do have that childlike element to their personalities are what I consider "littles".

    You don't need to be childlike to need a Daddy Dom.



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Daddy Doms

  1. Is there such thing as a Mommy Domme?

    Yes, there absolutely is. When I say "Daddy Dom" or "babygirl" I do not intend to be gender excluding, they are just the terms I use for my definitions. Nothing should be specific to gender.

    Mommy Dommes exist and they are just as protective, loving and nurturing as Daddy Doms.



  2. What's the Difference between a Daddy Dom and a Master?

    Well, actually a Daddy Dom is a type of Master. A Daddy Dom is the kind of Master who is nurturing, loving, protective, and cares very much about his submissive. He wants the best for his submissive and works to help his submissive improve themselves as a submissive and as a person. Many Masters are Daddy Doms and don't even realise it. 

    Daddy Doms don't neccessarily need to be interested in littles or ageplay. The term is more about how they care for their submissive than anything else.



  3. What is the difference between a Sugar Daddy and a Daddy Dom?

    Oxford Dictionary defines a Sugar Daddy as "a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favours."

    A Daddy Dom has no such agreement with his little. Like any loving relationship, gifts may be given but there isn't any arranged agreement regarding the exchange of gifts for gratification. 

    It is a Daddy Dom's job to love and nurture and protect his little girl.... not pile her with gifts in order to get "benefits" from her.



  4. How old should you be to be a Daddy Dom?

    Daddy Doms don't necessarily have to be "older" men - As long as a man has the maturity to take on the responsibility of taking care of a little, he can be any age.

    Most Daddy Doms are a little older purely because with age often comes maturity... But there's nothing stopping a mature young man from becoming a Daddy Dom.

    It's a common misconception that littles and babygirls like Daddy Doms because they prefer to be with the "older men" - This may be the case of some, but not all. 

    Some littles are (chronologically) older than their Daddies. There's no reason why that can't be the case. As long as both people in a relationship are happy, that's all that matters.



  5. As a little, do I have to call my Dom "Daddy"?

    Not at all. There is no hard and fast rule that says a little must call their Mummy or Daddy Dom by any particular name.

    While on my site I try and stress that the term Daddy is more a term of affection than indicating a father, of course some people are still not comfortable with the term. For some people, no matter how they think of it, they will always associate the term Daddy with a biological father.

    Call your partner whatever makes you and them comfortable.

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